anythingPosted by mayumi toyoda 2010-08-17 13:22:56come let us make bricks
and burn them hard,
we'll build a city with a tower for the world
and climb so we can reach
anything we may propose,
anything at all
I know why you tore it down that day,
you thought, that if you got caught
we'd all go away,
like a spoiled little baby
who can't come out and play,
you had your revenge
well madness reigned
and paradise drowned
when Babel's walls came crashing down
now the echoes roar
a story writ
that was hardly understood
and never any good
build me up, tear me down
like a skyscraper,
build me up, and tear down
these joining walls
so they can't climb at all
Bad Religion.
Jag vaknade mellan ark rött
förvirrad
mycket tid har gått
och ser ut som en stilla dag
ingen är riktigt övertygad
ingen vet vad de ska göra
leva i mörker
söker ljuset
stängd medvetenhet
eller kanske bara bekvämlighet
men drömmar vaken
och förändra verkligheten
där även
vi är ensamma
vår stolthet
av vår egoism
för vår osäkerhet
rädsla
till ensamhet
känsla hemlängtan
att det finns någon
eller om det
någon som en gång
älskade oss
nostalgi och rädsla
inte märker av
villkorslös kärlek.
we live trapped..
anythingPosted by mayumi toyoda 2009-04-06 07:15:25
How deeply in love does anyone can be?
which is the limit for common people?
I believe in love beyond being in love.
I believe that true love has no limit
whether in the dark or bright side
so far away from this pitty dimension
sometimes I feel how some people lost the passion for life
it makes me sad
and angry
because I am a warrior
and I just can't accept that
but it's their choice
I am not going to change
I know
I just have hope that someone listen
and let go
go deep in to the passion of something
deep as it can
cause otherwise it is not worth it
it is just butter over a bread
We are the bread.
anythingPosted by mayumi toyoda 2009-01-04 04:34:10I want somebody to share
Share the rest of my life
Share my innermost thoughts
Know my intimate details
Someone who'll stand by my side
And give me support
And in return
She'll get my support
She will listen to me
When I want to speak
About the world we live in
And life in general
Though my views may be wrong
They may even be perverted
She'll hear me out
And won't easily be converted
To my way of thinking
In fact she'll often disagree
But at the end of it all
She will understand me
I want somebody who cares
For me passionately
With every thought
With every breath
Someone who'll help me see things
In a different light
All the things I detest
I will almost like
I don't want to be tied
To anyone's strings
I'm carefully trying to steer clear of
Those things
But when I'm asleep
I want somebody
Who will put their arms around me
And kiss me tenderly
Though things like this
Make me sick
In a case like this
I'll get away with it
And in a place like this
I'll get away with it
Listened today like 11 times
Anxiety when are you gonna leave? I hadn't sleep properly in a month
My mind
Red eyes, I'm tired
The hair is getting longer diving directly to hippie land
What if I stop brushing everything?
Just being
anythingPosted by mayumi toyoda 2008-12-19 21:18:23I just came back from the little store that is 2 blocks away from my house, I hadn't realize that I always wear the same sweater when I go there ha, the only thing in my mind is to buy cigarretes but who cares about it anyway?
Cigarrettes, yeah I wanted them cause I'm gonna writte for the first time in here, the first time? I should buy Champagne better haha
Buy buy buy, man we should better trade like in old times, there would be no innecesary capitalism
Anyway, today I wont talk about those little things, it doesn't matter at all. But first I have to find the perfect music , what would you listen when you feel relieved?
Boy this is tough I've been standing up in front of my cd's (old school) "giant collection" haha for almost 10 minutes and I have no music for relief????? what's wrong with it?
I think I will have to pick song by song to create the story of why I need a relief album.
anyway let's start this soundtrack...
1. The navajo know- Pixies
I've always thought that the good musicians are the ones that really enter into your soul and move those inner feelings that we never pay attention to, how do they do it?
well it's simple
it's real.
Most of the people thinks to know what does art means and they give lots of explanations, standard definitions and even classifies it; but there are very few that understand the real essence of art.
it is called us.
I hate people I've always hated them or at least I thought I did
I love so many that now I'm confused haha who I really hate?
I think I hate what humanity has become, how people walks blind, how do we fall in to the stupidity trap and think we are happy in our so mistaken lifes, always looking for the future, regreting the past, never enjoying the present.
Ignorance bothers me.
So I wonder now if art is made by us, why do we hate each other so much? do we hate feelings? do we hate art?
Well for real who hates? do we hate for real? or is it just a passional moment?
loosing the line in here haha
Upon construction
there is the mohawk
his way of walking
quite high above the ground
fearless of looking down
skywalk
some people say that
the navajo know
a way of walking
quite high above the ground
fearless of looking down
oh no.
we are one since the beginning...
2. Skyscraper - Bad Religion
And still even that we are part of one same energy, that we share lots of identical moments, we are fighting
It's so hard to want to understand the people cause we think it's a waste of time, and in one point it is, it is to try to help anyone that doesn't ask for it, but to understand people will make us understand ourselves and then act.
I'm not saying at all that we have to go to the streets and ask everyone their opinions, I'm saying that at least we should know who are friends are for real.
Friendship is a theme underestimated, we think that the people that went with us to primary school are our friends just by the fact that they had our same age and they went to the same school... WRONG I am hating those friends in facebook that thinks that we are friends just because of that, I erased them all haha, I really refuse to be part of such superficial society.
Yesterday I had a goal in my facebook , get to know who the hell was on my friends list and erase all the strangers.
So I started in my daily facebook night time, to talk with all the "friends" that were on line.
It was pretty late and I just found 2 of them, people that I thought that maybe I met them once and then forget, I use to do that, so many people and if they don't continue the relation I just forget.. anyway the first guy who replied me was a kid from the mexican rock scene and we talk a while, funny guy living the crazy rockstar life, was nice to meet the first of my unknown "friends", although we had nothing in common.
So I was convinced to give a "chance" to the others...
We are suppouse to have the freedom to choose our people, sometimes they choose us and sometimes it was just ment to be like the second person.
come let us make bricks
and burn them hard,
we'll build a city with a tower for the world
and climb so we can reach
anything we may propose,
anything at all
build me up, tear me down
like a skyscraper,
build me up, and tear down
these joining walls
so they can't climb at all
I know why you tore it down that day,
you thought, that if you got caught
we'd all go away,
like a spoiled little baby
who can't come out and play,
you had your revenge
well madness reigned
and paradise drowned
when Babel's walls came crashing down
now the echoes roar
a story writ
that was hardly understood
and never any good
Disguised friendship is something I can hate
3. Possibly maybe - Björk
Since we have this amazing ciber world we have become so lazy, we don`t need to go out and flirt haha you can do it in the comfort of your bed, but what are we looking for real in those app? people to get involved with? I don`t think so , first of all we rather enter the world wide catalog, it's not easy to support a long distance relationship I know it haha, but we love to dream, we love to idealize and we want to feel less lonely for some hours...
This last days I`ve met lot`s of people in there, all with the same conversation, super sad, it makes me wonder why? why is it so difficult to find someone that fits you correctly, and also people who already have a couple like myself , we are there just hoping to find someone new to talk about something better than common regular and hateful rutine. at least I do
And there are surprises, there are quality people with intelligent minds that sadly or trendy make new friends there
Quality because they own theirselves
Sadly because there aren`t many people with open bright minds in every corner
Trendy because with this excuse we'll feel less guilty to ourselves of not being able to give us what we really want
is it wrong? I don`t think it is, like everything we are free to choose
But
is it easy?
Well, try it.
your flirt finds me out
teases the crack in me
smittens me with hope
possibly maybe probably love
as much as i definitely enjoy solitude
i wouldn't mind perhaps
spending little time with you
sometimes
sometimes
uncertainly excites me
baby
who knows what's going to happen?
lottery or car crash
or you'll join a cult
mon petit vulcan
you're eruptions and disasters
i keep calm
admiring your lava
i keep calm
since we broke up
i'm using lipstick again
i'll suck my tongue
as a remembrance of you
I can tell I've found special beings in there, but there's a limit, I don't need too many known people.. and anyway they are to few
4. Soma - Smashing pumpkins
It is amazing the power that feelings works in me, If I get sad I really drown if I'm happy I explode, am I bi polar? hahaha I really don't care
This year was too heavy some things made me change and I was feeling very angry, very sad, very scared, very little even at the time that I was giving one of the biggests steps in my life
Once that I got hurt, it's very hard to realise that I have to let it go, and in the middle of that understanding everything turned dark, I locked myself into an hermetic cage of glass, where I can see evreything but I wasn't able to feel
I didn't wanted to feel, I was so scared about it that I rather close that door
It's funny how we punish ourselves for something that wasn't our fault in the first instance
Life was being lived by the others and mine was just hours of happiness, but that's what I chose, I rathered to feel extreme happiness from time to time than enjoy my total present
Thing that made me sick
I've always knew what was wrong but I never had the energy and the intentions to solve it right away... I wanted to be spoiled and get cured with the beautiful time
Nothing left to say
And all I've left to do
Is run away
From you
And she led me on, down
With secrets I can't keep
Close your eyes and sleep
Don't wait up for me
Hush now don't you speak
To me
Wrapped my hurt in you
And took my shelter in that pain
The opiate of blame
Is your broken heart, your heart
Soma, I'm all by myself
As I've always felt
I'll betray my tears
To anyone caught in our ruse of fools
One last kiss for me...yeah
One last kiss good night
Didn't want to lose you once again
Didn't want to be your friend
Fulfilled a promise made of tin
And crawled back to you
I'm all by myself
As I've always felt
I'll betray myself
To anyone, lost, anyone but you
So let the sadness come again
On that you can depend on me, yeah
Until the bitter, bitter end of the world, yeah
When god sleeps in bliss
And I'm all by myself
As I've always felt
And I'll betray myself
To anyone
And this for me wasn't the first time
5. Arena - VNVNation
And I was right, perhaps a little late but not that much, time brought me with the second person of my unknown friends in facebook, the air I needed to breathe.
A being that I didn't even needed to know his name, cause we weren't talking stranger to stranger, we were just two voices with one same life conception, one same understanding, to look beyond.
This was the event that pushed the green switch of my essence, the remembrance of who I was and what I am here for.
Life amazes me, and I'm watching everything with a new light, an old new light.
Before me plays the endless film
Relentless splinters I recall
Each living thing breathes life
Only sentiment remains
To liquid born, from patterns formed
The sand descends with blind intent
Where the river takes me will in time be revealed
I cannot turn my feelings down
Beyond my means to turn my thoughts around
Expressed in every word I will ever speak
Brighter than all the stars combined
More than the waters, earth and sky
All that I wish and all that I dream
Above the waves with my hands raised
Dare the wind, lay claim to me
Knowing somehow none could take me
Watching the sun come up in vain
The only reason I can find why I remained
The need to leave the point I came to again and again
It didn't matter how hard I tried
It took so long to claim that I knew how
Or what it meant to let go of this
To ever say goodbye
Call it destiny, call it fate
Chose my direction, running forward
Each life to learn anew, whatever may come
I cannot turn my feelings down
Beyond my means to turn my thoughts around
Expressed in every word I will ever speak
Brighter than all the stars combined
More than the waters, earth and sky
All that I wish and all that I dream
No creed on earth can replace or provide
In my darkest hour, the comfort I'd feel
Leading me to see I can be more than I expect of me
My beginning and my end
The first and last air that I breathe
More than the sum of everything that I will ever be
And today at last I've started to forgive all those people that hurted me and more important of all I'm forgiving myself
That's why wearing the same sweater to go to the store doesn't matter at all.
